ON THE TOILET-ALLERGIC MODERN INDIAN!

Source: ON THE TOILET-ALLERGIC MODERN INDIAN!

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ON THE TOILET-ALLERGIC MODERN INDIAN!

Kuttanlifeissues

ON THE TOILET-ALLERGIC INDIAN!

WARMING UP:

My well-considered raspberry* for the typical Indian male! [*A satirical sound of contempt made with the lips].

Unless you threaten him with a Tokarev TT-30 revolver, lethal perfume or electrified lasso he simply doesn’t like to use a toilet, and almost always loves to relieve himself out in the open under the trees! This , even while he boasts to Heaven about his children having secured high ranks in class or University exams or his daughters snatching the Ms. Universe or Ms. World Crown!

And believe me when I say that ONLY in India can a marriage split open and go wide apart owing to absence or presence of a humble loo!

Of course it’s an open secret globally that marriage as a convention is at best fated to go roller coaster over the years owing to many kinds of incompatibility but then only…

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ON THE TOILET-ALLERGIC MODERN INDIAN!

ON THE TOILET-ALLERGIC INDIAN!

WARMING UP:

My well-considered raspberry* for the typical Indian male! [*A satirical sound of contempt made with the lips].

Unless you threaten him with a Tokarev TT-30 revolver, lethal perfume or electrified lasso he simply doesn’t like to use a toilet, and almost always loves to relieve himself out in the open under the trees! This , even while he boasts to Heaven about his children having secured high ranks in class or University exams or his daughters snatching the Ms. Universe or Ms. World Crown!

And believe me when I say that ONLY in India can a marriage split open and go wide apart owing to absence or presence of a humble loo!

Of course it’s an open secret globally that marriage as a convention is at best fated to go roller coaster over the years owing to many kinds of incompatibility but then only Indians pretend to be deaf and blind to their partner’s pleas for a humble toilet!

There is a reason for this, which I shall dilate a bit later here in this piece!

Marital conflicts and endless arguments of the most stress-generating kind burst out over the very need for a home- or room-attached toilet in many so-called posh homes! A lot of artificiality surrounds all weddings of course but the moment the wife needs to relieve herself in the mornings, the man of the house instinctively points his finger in the direction of the vast outdoors!

India is, in individual homes, living from day to day through different ages, millennia or centuries past. When it comes to toilets, its 3000 B.C with the vast Indo-Gangetic plains and a thin population arrived from over the Karakorum Mountains and the Khyber Pass!

Go on an all India tour and you come face to face with Neanderthal, Babylonian and Aztec mentalities. In tune with it the cuisine and sartorial preferences may also be incredibly different! In fact the nation’s population remains deeply segmented psychologically as a consequence.

 

 

 

Though Indian women try to co-habit with him, it’s a challenge for way too many of them. He is a brute in bed, is supremely unaware of basic etiquette, lacks social skills, defends the ‘merits’ of open air defecation, prefers to urinate without any shame in the open on roadsides, thumps his own chest, brags to heaven about his many conquests, and scores a duck in managing his family!

One of the things that the average Indian man, urban or rural, educated or not, seems never to have learned is how NOT to urinate or pit in public spaces! Parallel to this lacuna about hygiene goes his instinctive resistance to a woman being ever in need for privacy while answering Nature’s call!

And the incredible joke is he views –and prefers to imagine–his chosen female deity as Devi or Goddess, attends all Durga festivals, and speaks of women as Parama Prakrithi or glorious creations of Nature!

India’s medieval and modern history—RC Majumdar’s texts are classics- can make you, the Modern Indian male, so vain of himself, feel like a worm in a dry paddy field!

“Since the 19th century especially women’s education has been  a progressive obsession with progressive INDIAN social reformers”, remarks Arindam Chakrabarti,” and although much remains to be done to get anywhere close to equal access to education for the genders, there has been no dearth of social and political discourse about the need to educate our daughters.”

According to him its “basic ethical education—in morals and manners– that Indian males lack so deplorably. The emotional illiteracy of the Indian male is no longer just the target of jokes. For the wives, sisters, classmates and colleagues, it’s dangerous and somewhat lethal too”

 

 

 

 

 

The idea of maintaining cleanliness in both body and mind doesn’t find a ready reception in India, basically because we Indians took our environmental cleanliness too loosely for generations—and this in spite of our intellectual explorations and adventures into the spirit!

Tell an India the apothegm “Cleanliness is next to Godliness!” and he gives you a sheepish smile or guffaws or yawns! The ritually pre Indian Hindu male is repulsed the “intrinsic uncleanness” of his own body, however smelly it may be, but of female bodies except on certain occasions!

The leitmotif of all the three religious cults that took birth here- viz. Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism—is HOW to get cleansed from the sins accumulated over many generations through meritorious activities and admirable habits and thus to be able to stake a claim for Nirvana the be-all and end-all of human life!

THE HIDDEN TRIGGER BEHIND RESISTACNE TO TOILETS!

Tradition demands that a girl is born for prestige-giving and expensive marriage ONLY. Her body must have chastity and she must have family values. The rest simply doesn’t matter!

Whether the girl is happy or not, whether she gets educated or not and if she will have children—such questions remain irrelevant. She has to be in a home, we are told by tradition, but whether that home has a toilet or not is supremely irrelevant and insignificant!

It says in a clipped format: Raghukul reeti sadaa chali aayee (=Ever since the time of Raghu, this has been the custom).

A TOILET ENSURES SAFETY TOO!

Besides being a matter of modesty, privacy, health and hygiene, a toilet renders a great service-safety to the woman.

Countless women in UP, Uttarakhand and Uttaranchal, if not Bengal too, have been killed and carried away by feral creatures while they are at their most vulnerable moment! Approximately the same number of young women have been kidnapped and gang raped and then done to death in cold blood by malcontents on the sly when they were out in the fields!

I wonder if the Hindu for instance is familiar with the definition of Dharma which recommends Ahimsa, Satya, Asteya, Shaucha, and Indriya Nigraha.Please note the importance given to Shaucha or cleanliness here in this definition. The Hindu hypocrisy is that the typical temple priest doesn’t think twice about his wife and daughters having to use the River Ganges, or River Yamuna or River Narmada for defecation purposes, despite having insistence on keeping his own body pure!

Across the whole country a girl has the right to food and education but NO birthright to use a covered toilet! And it was no less than Sage Patanjali himself that commented “Practice of shaucha tends to make the yoga practitioner feel disgust for his own body”. Which means that he also contributed a few million or billion E.Coli to the waters of River Ganges!

Ha-ha!

This is the abominably shameful ground reality even in uplifted Indian villages with almost all homes well connected by mobile phones and satellite TV.

Dear Indian parents, DO be worthy parents to your own daughters! Have a covered toilet at home!

CASSINI’S MEMOIRS DATED 15TH SEPTEMBER 2017!

Kuttanlifeissues

CASSINI’S MEMOIRS! Dt 15-9-‘17

Dear Earth, my Mother!

May I, your most adventurous explorer baby, bid you farewell for all time to come with a goodbye kiss please? I have been going super stingy on my fuel, be assured and so I know my end is near.

Dear human race! Please bear with me for having sent a few blurry pictures too among the many I took for helping you study this giant planet so beautiful to look at. Often I couldn’t get a focused snapshot fast enough to freeze the cataclysmic happenings on the planet itself!

Much have I seen firsthand with my sweetheart video camera equipment! Huge Methane Rivers disgorging themselves into a vast methane sea! Unpredictable noisy storms occurring almost to the minute somewhere on Saturn! Jets of ice and gas blasting giant smoke clouds into space with a vengeance! Mountainous surfaces that no vehicle could pass…

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CASSINI’S MEMOIRS DATED 15TH SEPTEMBER 2017!

 

CASSINI’S MEMOIRS! Dt 15-9-‘17

Dear Earth, my Mother!

May I, your most adventurous explorer baby, bid you farewell for all time to come with a goodbye kiss please? I have been going super stingy on my fuel, be assured and so I know my end is near.

Dear human race! Please bear with me for having sent a few blurry pictures too among the many I took for helping you study this giant planet so beautiful to look at. Often I couldn’t get a focused snapshot fast enough to freeze the cataclysmic happenings on the planet itself!

Much have I seen firsthand with my sweetheart video camera equipment! Huge Methane Rivers disgorging themselves into a vast methane sea! Unpredictable noisy storms occurring almost to the minute somewhere on Saturn! Jets of ice and gas blasting giant smoke clouds into space with a vengeance! Mountainous surfaces that no vehicle could pass over! Gas clouds. the size of which I can’t describe using our puny measurements used on Earth! Fast spinning asteroid belts and empty lifeless space in between them!

Dear Mom, I have indeed been a most fortunate baby of yours in having been able to see these! I bet no other NASA baby ever saw whatever I have seen in my active life!

You probably knew all along how adventurous I was from my designing phase but it was a surprise to me as I dived into Saturn in between those spinning rings with aplomb and ease! My rockets fired at the right moments too!

Please don’t worry over me, dearest Mom, for I have always loved those humans that worked so hard day and night to perfect me for this unique mission—and also programmed me to burn myself out through a fast approach after my two giant antennas get turned away from Planet Earth for all time and thus become part of Saturn today evening at 5:30 IST!

I have always been one of NASA’s excellent babies for I have sent back almost 2 million photographs of Saturn, its surface, its remarkable rings , its moon Titan and so on! I feel gratified that I have run my race with fulfillment!

You may, beloved Mom, be recalling that 15th of October 1997 –a glorious sunlit morning in California as I remember myself distinctly after these 20 years—when I got launched into boundless space by NASA as a messenger-cum-explorer par excellence, brought out as a collaborative effort of American, European and Italian scientists.

Believe me dear, I was dead in earnest to cover that vast distance I was away from Saturn 1, 20000 miles away from our home planet. Not even for a moment did I wish to play pranks or throw antics—I was that earnest as they –I mean the whiz kids–designed me!

Of course I reached Saturn in 2004, 7 years after my having been shot off like a projectile, but then I remembered what giant mission I was intended to be on from then till now—dive into Saturn’s gaseous atmosphere, take countless snapshots, dispatch the same to you and Planet Earth which however I couldn’t lay my eyes on—it was but a dot set against midnight black space—and then return to my regular orbit far away from it.

I had my minor mission with landing my baby—Huygens probe—to land on Titan and help me connect with my Earth with rich snapshots of how that moon is made and its characteristics.

Dear mankind, please don’t forget this baby of yours! Dear NASA R&D egg heads please don’t dislodge me from your memory! I shall remember all of you jostling about as I got made totally over many months and I remain eternally grateful to you for it.

I guess I have lived up to your expectations, most dear Dads! Quite magnanimously I have shared the wonders of this giant planet with all of you!

Bye for all time!

Here is my most passionate kiss to mankind–dispatched across 1,20000 miles of empty space!!

AN INDIAN’S SENSE OF HYGIENE: ABSENT!

Kuttanlifeissues

“THAT UNCLEAN INDIAN! AARGH!”

(A remark by an American girl about her Indian BF!)

Not only a woman but also must have the smell of Good Morning when they get up, but most Indians, by happenstance, don’t! Even if they take an early bath in River Ganges, their so-called ‘sacred’ threads smell to high heaven! Or they have such unclean feet that the bed they have slept in needs to be washed after soaking for an hour! Or they have under garments that have an indescribably musty, anesthetizing odor! Or they stink of rancid pan or week-old booze when they come to bed! Or their teeth look so horrible that a girl or their own wife feels like throwing up! Or they carry around all kinds of amulets around their waist that are liberal in their fetor!

Never judge an Indian from the posh interiors of his home, for 70%…

View original post 135 more words

AN INDIAN’S SENSE OF HYGIENE: ABSENT!

“THAT UNCLEAN INDIAN! AARGH!”

(A remark by an American girl about her Indian BF!)

Not only a woman but also must have the smell of Good Morning when they get up, but most Indians, by happenstance, don’t! Even if they take an early bath in River Ganges, their so-called ‘sacred’ threads smell to high heaven! Or they have such unclean feet that the bed they have slept in needs to be washed after soaking for an hour! Or they have under garments that have an indescribably musty, anesthetizing odor! Or they stink of rancid pan or week-old booze when they come to bed! Or their teeth look so horrible that a girl or their own wife feels like throwing up! Or they carry around all kinds of amulets around their waist that are liberal in their fetor!

Never judge an Indian from the posh interiors of his home, for 70% of the time the man may be a damnable victim of the Dead Past Mindsets that prevailed in this country for millennia before the advent of modern toilet facilities!

Refusing to spend money on a toilet attached to one’s own home sounds so out of the box to millions, especially north of Hyderabad that they can hope to find brides only with a well-rehearsed pack of lies!

Zero-Toilet Home doesn’t ring any bells in the mind of any North Indian, and also many South Indians for that matter. It’s the most natural thing for a man up north to expect one’s wife-the mother of one’s own kids, going out before dawn to do her daily business and done with it in some nook or corner!

My next blog shall be on this exciting topic!