DEFINE A GOOD PARENT!
I shall open with a sensible quote from a lecture by the late Swami Chinmayananda.
“Take parenting. Today it’s a duty. Parents earn money; they buy gifts and other things for their children out of what they call their love.
But that’s NOT what parenting is about.
Remember a child can live without materialistic things like gifts but not without the parent’s love.
When love is absent in a parent child relationship, children tend to break way and become aggressive and rebellious.
A parent that fulfills tall the desires of the child is often called a “good’ parent. But this is a mistake for he is not so. Under his roof no one is giving any love and no one is getting love too day or night. It’s a loveless kingdom of sorts remaining fossilized in an eternal winter!
Most parents fail in parenting-the very qualification all of them shamelessly claim when a kid is born to them.”
This morning I met some wonderful children- handsome young men and pretty young women with spunk and vim and vigor, who wished to do justice to M. Tech (Finance Engineering) program. (I think I must have disappointed them a bit by having not wasted time in getting introduced to them by name) Thanks to Capstocks, a stock broking firm here, I got a chance to engage one class session for them on Finance and its Investment in an intelligent manner.
I opened my session informally with this same reference and told them that every one of them, might have had at least Rs 35 lakhs to their credit in some bank if their parents had, after their birth, gone to the bank, withdrawn all their savings and invested in some Infosys or TCS shares. If those ladies and gentlemen had not done so it was because their ignorance about the potential of finance to grow if invested sensibly in some MFs or in company stocks during the latter’s sunrise years.
It was indeed delightful for me to engage the session but I was grieved to find their response ability underdeveloped even when one of them –a PYT running through her vivacious 20’s–proposed a Vote of Thanks to me!
In reality God is so kind and gracious towards all prospective parents.
A man and women who prepare for achieving parenthood, must read up enough during those crucial 9 months about the miniature guest coming up fast towards them.
They must know something about child care, nutrition, and even how to change nappies in time. They must keep track of the kid in the womb through books with colorful pics of the fetus on each day of the period of gestation.
They must do a SWOT abs SOAR analysis of their own personalities and also discuss at length what kind of traits in their future kid need to be curbed what needs to be nurtured. They must unlearn many earlier habits such as individual private prayer and instead learn to pray together. They must learn to share food in a cheerful manner.
They must be always in consultation with new moms and physicians and also midwives with much experience about how to deal justly by the kid in its early days of getting familiar with the adult world.
After the kid gets born they must keep on reading daily about how to groom a successful kid into teenage right till the kid has passed his or her 15th year! Parenting is no fun game dear ones!
More than 25 different subjects go into parenting a good kid and in molding him into a worthy citizen the world shall be proud of and shall cherish close to its chest!
Some are Clinical Psychology,Social skills science, basic medicine, basic nursing ,Nutrition, healing where there is no doctor, Child Psychology, Psycholinguistics, Language acquisition theories,and gradation of teaching materials,providing for the physical growth of the kids at various ages, talent spotting etc.
Far from it, it’s a most challenging SUDOKU, Rubik Cube or some complicated 2000 year old unsolved and virtually un-solvable mathematical puzzle!
NOTHING like the above is seen to be happening anywhere a primi gravida woman is expecting her first child.
Instead what is actually observed is hurly burly of the needless kind, many stressful scenarios entirely man made and also mutual accusations and bickering galore. An offer of raw mangoes by the hubby on a work day evening can’t hope to heal the wounds caused by unkind words or even indifference to the woman.
Most irksome recriminations over non-payment of dowry—unearned cash or kind extracted out of a girl’s family under the pretext of being as good man—cause irreparable harm to the fetus in one way or another.
The helpless baby inside is unable to protect itself from harmful hormones surging towards it through the maternal blood stream and its brain gets damaged by these, thus causing ADHD or Autism for instance.
It needs at least 36 weeks before it is capable enough to make its way through the bumps and knocks of the world outside but in most private hospitals the obstetricians are under instructions to take out the fetus even at the 30th week and then offer long treatment for the defects that they invariably detect in it, thus bankrupting the young mom’s family of another Rs 15 lakhs under this excuse!
A lot of genuine love needs to be given to the baby during its phase of acclimatization tot eh family and the locality. Even newborns easily distinguish between false and true affection as offered by grown-ups!
LOVE is the only key to open the baby’s wonderfully loving heart!
But then ,just as Pontius Pilate queried 2000 years ago, during the Trial of Jesus, ”What is Truth?”, we need to ask our own selves ”What is LOVE?”