MATERNAL ANXIETIES AND WHY THIS HAPPENS!
Hi to all of you out there in cyberspace! I am very much here on my hilltop at my home Xanadu (at Elipode, near Vattiyurkaavu in Trivandrum City), and greet you all with my habitual passion and exuberance!
Yesterday at Curtain Raiser, a local school that trained persons in anchoring and acting plus public speaking skills, I had a fine chance to listen to an anxious mom by name “Girlie”( just don’t know her surname!).
She impressed me as a warm hearted person of around 40!
She serves within the Kerala Police Pink Patrol and she was recounting to her embarrassment in dealing with youngsters that were found in compromising positions in public spaces within the city and in its precincts.
Herself a mom of a teenager—and I sensed she must be a loving mom to that son too–, she found it impossible to put some sense into such youngster’s heads in the latter’s own best interests.
As a judge of the individual performance level of every participant at the school, I instantly recognized her speech theme to be sexual promiscuity observed at many places.
If you are a parent (mother or father difference doesn’t matter here), of such a kid(girl or boy) given to seeking love OUTSIDE your home with all kinds of strangers, please do the following immediately by way of intra family modification :
(a)Ask your partner (wife or hubby) what is unpleasant in your behavior to him or her. List it on a scrap of paper and then answer your partner’s similar query. BEGIN the change for the better right at your own home.
(b) Set apart 15 to 20 minutes DAILY for conversing with your teenage or adolescent kid. This needs to be a tete-a-tete (=head to head) and not across a table. Have this conversation with one of your hands on the shoulders of your child. (From the start of adolescent till the teenage is over and done with, a kid needs physical contact of an affectionate kind from parents because of her or his internal feeling of confusion and insecurity!)
(c) Query about your child’s educational facilities at his school or college, his or her best friends in class and what he or she likes best to do in his or her life time. Ask also about any text he or she stands in need of on a short or long term basis so that the kid feels loved and wanted by his parents at all times.
(d) If you are the mother of a daughter, DON’T FORGET EVER to kiss your child daily and hug her too before she leaves for school or college. She is going to get into a pool of sorts with furiously tempting ripples and THAT touch of visible motherly affection is your guarantee that she shall never waver or get unbalanced emotionally.
(e) TREAT your son(if you are the mother or father of a boy) as your friend, give whatever drivel he may tell you by way of family talk with rapt attention and allow him to let his steam off privately at your home in your company. Let him dilate upon what precisely he wants to do in his life and what his plans are be his own boss too.
(f)As you listen do some analysis of the substance of what he is telling you. Observe his face and his expression and gestures too carefully. Ignore the nonsense content in what he says but think about anything unacceptable he may hint about. Admonish him with a smile that he would get into trouble if he indulges in that kind of activity!
(g) Hug your son daily before you send him off to college or school. He is not an extension of you of course but he has within himself the potential to enhance or ruin your future happiness.
(g) Say “God Bless you!” too if you can bring yourself to say so in the open!
Have a Great Day!